isn't depression a wonderful thing?

I have set my goals to the satisfaction of the boy i desire most. not that he really cares but i should let this out
this weather has gotten my back turned and not a good attitude. as hard as i try to break away from this it somehow pulls me in deeper. i have this letter played out in my brain:


Dear mom,
this christmas wasn't a christmas without you.
i know you think we have all forgotten about your crazy hair and half smiles, but we haven't. i think i missed you the most right next to grandma. i didn't get exactly what i wanted which was another chance to see you. i miss you mama i really miss you. dont leave me again. come home.

ps
when will he really like me?