we're not here

something is missing.

I can tell everyone around me is getting tired of the whole catch and release method I'm working on.
Things have been getting better, but the confusion level in my life seems to deepen to the point where i cant see it.


I can tell you that i love you but i can't force you to believe it. you didn't call back and you never do. katy, you don't know what your talking about. i can always try to convince myself that he loves me as much as i love him but it wont ever stick like its supposed to. I don't like being in love and i don't think i ever will. things seem to worsen every week. all i wanted and want was you. I'm afraid. what if. what if, this never goes away?

i deserve to be happy. i deserve to be happy. i deserve to be happy, but everything else in this universe is proving that statement completely wrong. I guess its just one of those days, weeks, months...

i can't keep living like this. If i stay this way I will die.

The Honey & the Moon

If your not happy without me then this means something. It has to.
You've been away from me for a week exactly. i miss everything about you.
Your faces, your smiles, and that tiny body wrapping over a gigantic heart.

Remember when we first met
and everything was still a bet
in love's game
you would call; I'd call you back
and then I'd leave
a message
on your answering
machine

But right now
everything is turning blue,
and right now
the sun is trying to kill the moon,
and right now
I wish I could follow you
to the shores
of freedom,
where no one lives


I miss you. we miss you, and i cant stress enough how much i miss you. Love has become something i can't explain when it comes to you, and i'm taking that as a compliment. I need you right now, but I think you switching up the game and all is a wonderful idea. we're strong again. and as i concluded:If you weren't real i'd probably make you up.

for all the lovers who

I'ts been 5 days and I cannot control the tears

this is the worst new years of my life, but the best at the same time.
You have no idea how much i miss you.
COME HOME

new years resolutions

1. find myself
2. give god another shot
3. give social lifes a shot
4. get a job
5. try with the gym
6. quit the mooch life
7. eliminate the big 'D'

isn't depression a wonderful thing?

I have set my goals to the satisfaction of the boy i desire most. not that he really cares but i should let this out
this weather has gotten my back turned and not a good attitude. as hard as i try to break away from this it somehow pulls me in deeper. i have this letter played out in my brain:


Dear mom,
this christmas wasn't a christmas without you.
i know you think we have all forgotten about your crazy hair and half smiles, but we haven't. i think i missed you the most right next to grandma. i didn't get exactly what i wanted which was another chance to see you. i miss you mama i really miss you. dont leave me again. come home.

ps
when will he really like me?

am i destined

to be alone?


is it just me or is this winter even colder than before?