It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.
I cry a lot. My emotions are very close to my surface. I don't want to hold anything in so it festers and turns into pus - a pustule of emotion that explodes into a festering cesspool of depression. I can't even construct a fantasy future in my mind. I am destined to be a failure. I am indeed destined to fail.
Everyone around me is either feeding me lies or the truth, and the truth sounds like a lie and the lies sound like the truth, niether is a joke. I dont take everything seriously but anything; if that makes sense. Of course, I have good going on in all directions of my life, but i can't help but notice that everything around me is so empty looking. I am looking at my state of emptiness. Everyones lonely right now. It cant possibly be the weather, or the holiday just yet, but soon enough we will have those for excuses.
I have to ask, does anybody else feel this reduction of feeling?
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