Its your birthday, and even though you think i dont care about you i still always can write about you. Your my best friend, and even between breaks and uneven affection we still can say that we are here for eachother. Im so proud of you. You are starting to understand how much of an effect you have on people. Im glad your growing up and Youre even starting to look like yourself again. Things got crazy, they always seem to get crazy with you but you always drag yourself out of it. Im glad your not letting that hole suck you even lower. All those people can talk. They can say what they want but dont ever let it be heard. Its pathetic that they think they know so much anyways. Your my nigga and I can poor my heart out in these posts and in my journal under my bed but we both know how i feel about you. My best friend, family, and love of my life. Happy birthday. Make this year count For once.

If i know everything than i must know that im not the only one who does. Your poor judgement makes you look dumb, and clearly you dont Know one thing about me.

We are all 'catchers' , and its sad you dont see it, instead you see the PHONINESS you deplore out of the world; even after we point out that your in it. As you plunge past us, so sad to be leaving, and 'we', me, a little happy to be away.

Up in the distance I can see where I am going. Stuck in this ditchlike rut. Im not gone, just away. If you would have taken more than a minute to look me over you would have seen the promise. I am happy to be away from you. No just a little. A lot. Love of the loveless. Youll never feel at home when you finally realize that your always going to end up alone. They will all move on. I hope i can hear your tears like everyone else heard mine.

A message from my heart. Pounding away. Thank you. Bum bum bum bum bum

Every second I spend waiting drags me closer this grave I'm not alone, but on my own. And now; I dont think I can escape or replace you, its cold out here on the outside. Im glad I'm not stuck in 'it' any longer. I know wont get better until I'm worse. Send me smiles and love. I am ready for the change.

I'm everything I want in a friend. I can easily say i am exactly what i look for in a friend. Is that vain?

Tell me who you are.

Im really more like the "suffer in silence" type.

twilight fucks with my mind.

I think if i stop talking to people than maybe i wouldnt have to be the villan anymore. Im sick of 'messing everyone up' or not being thankful. Yes bob, i'm sorry for not being thankful. I should have stayed lonely. I dont want to be found anymore.

Im not wasting anymore time. I have taken everything back. I have spilled my soul, and my buttons have been pushed too many times to ignore. Im not mad, but I'm angry. You who still show faith, thank you. You who wrote me off, go to hell. Everyones an asshole, and i'm here to prove just that. I dont care if you think i'm fucking lucifer, i will never bow down and apologize again. (to you That is) those of you who think its acceptable to not forgive others are full of shit. You guys are whiny assholes who deserve to fall off a cliff, and to land in a large body of water with really hungry paronas. I know what i've done wrong. I dont need a constant reminder. I dont need to "talk about it". I dont need to let anyone cool down. I do not care for your loss of precence in my life. And another thing: NO ONE do me favors. Im sick of it being thrown back into my face and bled out my eyes. You asshole, a favor is something you do for others. Dont tell me how "great of a friend" you were, and expect me to not roll my eyes out of the socket in my head and into a cup filled with acid. This is my irritation month, and my wrath will be angrier than those grapes, if and when i actually decide to follow what these demented voices tell me to do, those of you Fucks who are described in the words above will be paid an exceptional amount of pain one way or another. Maybe not from me but from the justice God has promised for the ones who let him do what he loves to do best: PUNISH :)

The worry of laughter is on my lips. I should hope that you turn out fine. But I Always hope that some sadness crosses your mind.
I cant wait for you.
I cant wait for you.

Not all my posts are supposed to be sad. Dark gets me deep. Picture i.d.'s tomarrow. I should be happy. I have a new form of warmth along with new summer sandals. I will keep singing "how lucky we are".

What do you have that I want so bad? All these scribbles in my notebook, return to you. All my secrets under my bed, return to you. All the teardrops, return to you. Give me my life back. I dont remember what it felt like to depend on something greater than I.
I am lonely.

And did I mention how much I miss this almost 'wholeness'? :)

As if school couldnt get any harder than it already is, I have to endure the looks he gives. I don't particularly miss him, but I do wish he wouldn't have said what he said. I don't know how anyone can hope I am illuminated and actually mean that. I didn't know I was that bad.
And again, I see hope through the other. How can I have a doubt in my mind that we will overcome watever is thrown at us, in our hopeful 'relationship'.

Fly

it has been way too long

i cant even explain how much is going on.